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UPENN Suicide

The death of Madison Holleran in January 2014 made national news at the time, and has recently resurfaced in a big way. Her suicide made waves, and it stands out for important reasons. It brings to surface the significance of mental health and the potentially detrimental effects unnoticed or unattended cries of help, or state of well being, can have. It also sheds light on the fact that college can be a breeding ground for depression, anxiety and other serious mental health problems that often go ignored. Many see one’s moodiness or unhappiness when first in college as adjusting or having a hard time making friends. Though often that is the case, the University of Pennsylvania tragedy shows that for some, mental declines are more than just stress, getting used to a new atmosphere, and a big change in life. Madison’s sadness and feelings of depression may have stemmed from her grades or feeling that she wasn’t meeting self-set expectations, but it is clear to me that an underlying mental health condition was at play.  

She was an Ivy League track star, seemingly happy and presenting a front of having everything together. A popular athlete can’t get depressed or have a mental illness, one may say. After the tragedy, everyone was shocked because by all appearances—on social media—Madison seemed too happy and “perfect” to be afflicted. The masking of social media unintentionally contributes to cases of depression and suicides, gone unaddressed before it’s too late. I think there are important lessons to take away from this tragic situation.

·      Don’t assume that because someone’s social media accounts appear to portray him/her as perfectly okay, that everything really is okay—it is easy to hide one’s true feelings or state of mind in that way.  

·      If someone asks for help, a courageous and hard thing to do when feeling depressed or coping with a mental health problem, do not make light of it or push the situation to the side expecting it to go away.

·      Push for the wellbeing of the person struggling; they are probably in a state of mind of not being concerned, or unable to care about their own health. Get them into treatment! If you see signs of serious issues, be persistent in getting the individual to a physician and/or therapy.

·      Assure your loved one that it’s okay to be sick. It is not their fault, a weakness, or a sign of imperfection. It is okay to have a health problem and get help. In Madison’s case, her depression and mental health crisis felt like a burden to her, and she saw it as a burden for her family. She did not want to cause her loved ones any inconvenience with the things she was going through. So she took matters into her own hands, in the only way that she felt she could.

Madison’s father James said, “We knew she needed help. She knew she needed help.” Depression overcame Madison, and its severity came as a shock to her family, who cared deeply and did all they knew how to do to help her. Sadly, no one could see or predict the strength of the monster she was fighting. Madison’s story is unfortunately not unique; too many other cases happen nearly every day of college students—people in general— succumbing to depression or mental illness and taking their own life. As I am sure Madison would want, her story can be an example to others struggling with depression, a glimmer of the harsh reality that mental illness can bring, and a warning— which families of one in such a situation should take to heart.

 

Author: Emily Simpson (Intern)

 

References:

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2542641/UPenn-shocked-freshman-track-star-Madison-Holleran-19-jumps-death.html

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5 Things Every Woman Should Know About Self-Esteem

1)            You marry and engage in relationships at the level of YOUR self-esteem.

2)            YOU teach people how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.

3)            YOUR success is based on how much YOU believe in YOU.

4)            Self-esteem is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY commodity.

5)            YOUR individual expectations can ONLY be fulfilled when you embrace a   HEALTH self-concept.

You marry and engage in relationships at the level of YOUR self-esteem.  If you are unhappy in your marriage or your relationship, it is probably because you are disappointed that your partner is unsatisfactory. I am working with a client that is very angry that she is married to a man that didn’t tell her the truth about his financial struggles. She is now paying the bills to provide for the household and she has taken on the complete role of provider. Well, what should she do in a situation like this? Should she leave? Should she shame him into doing better financially? These situations are never easy and clear-cut. At best, she must decide how much she is willing to take and develop a strategy for her future. Remember, if you are in a draining relationship, I encourage you to take a long, good look in the mirror and examine YOUR self-esteem.

YOU teach people how to treat you based on how you treat yourself. Whether it is verbally or nonverbally, we are the sole instructors for how others treat us. Remember, what you tolerate…you ALLOW. Finding a happy balance of advocacy for our happiness is an important first step to healthier self-esteem. When we do not speak up or when we refuse to set healthy boundaries, others will take advantage. Did you know that ALL human beings are opportunists? YES, we are! That is the downside of human nature. Maybe some are more predator-like than others, but the truth is, if we do not establish healthy boundaries in our relationships, even those who love us most will take advantage of us. We can only blame OURSELVES for how people treat us. Food for thought.

YOUR success is based on how much YOU believe in YOU. Do you know that entrepreneurs who believe in themselves have a higher success rate in their businesses than those who are insecure about their abilities? It’s great to have a support system that believes in you, but if you don’t believe in yourself then no one else will buy into your vision or dream. Again, bad-breaks or bad-luck is not the demise of your success…but, it is how much you believe or do not believe in YOU. If your skill-set or knowledge-base needs a makeover, pursue options for continued education or personal development. Self-esteem in developed through increased competence, academic nurturing, family support, social engagement, physical acceptance and how you feel about your accomplishments. Take time to consider your strengths in each of these areas and make a commitment to do something about it.

Self-esteem is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY commodity.  The great thing about self-esteem is the SELF-component. Yes, exactly, to develop healthy self-esteem begins and ends with SELF. Regardless of your ethnicity, race, socioeconomic background or your failures in life, YOU still have the power to make a change. Personal development NEVER ends. We are continuously growing and developing regardless of our age. I have a 55-year-old client, who is still working to build healthy relationships with family members and coworkers. This doesn’t mean that the client is deficient in any way, it just means that we ALL have the opportunity to continue our pursuit of happiness and healthy relationships. Therapy has been the best way for this client to grow and embrace a healthier self-concept.

YOUR individual expectations can ONLY be fulfilled when you embrace a HEALTHY self-concept.  Most of us are disappointed when our expectations go unfulfilled. Remember, we cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. As simple and this concept is, many of us spend a lifetime attempting to force others to change and to do things that will make our lives happy. News Flash: ONLY YOU CAN FULFILL YOUR EXPECTATIONS! Now, of course, others can contribute to your happiness, but at the end of the day, YOU are at the helm of the ship. How you allow others to treat you, the decisions YOU make, and YOUR belief in yourself will determine how fulfilled and happy your life with be.

Final Thought: It takes 21-days to change a bad habit. It takes 90 days to make it stick. It takes a lifetime to create your own happiness and it begins with embracing a healthier self-concept.

 

Respectfully yours,

Jada Jackson, LMHC-3.png


Jada Jackson  M.S., M.A., LMHC, NCC
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Author, Talk Show Host, Life Coach and Communicator

Total Life Counseling Center  (407) 248 0030  1507 S. Hiawassee Road #101 Orlando FL 32835  
Email: jada@TotalLifeCounseling.com
Jada's TLC Page: http://www.totallifecounseling.com/counselors-orlando-therapists-counselors/jada-collins/

Jada’s website: Jadajackson.com
Website email: info@jadajackson.com
Blog: http://www.jadajackson.com/blog/
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