Racism, Politics & Forgiveness | 5 Tips for Cultural Forgiveness | Dr. Jada - LMHC

Racism, Politics & Forgiveness | 5 Tips for Cultural Forgiveness

The presidential race is heated and brutal. The rich, the wealthy, the poor, the Black, the White, the Brown, the Greedy, the educated and the uneducated are at war on the largest platform in America. Whether the presidential debates are heavily focused on abortion, legalization of same sex marriage, healthcare, minimum wage, immigration, gun control, education or foreign policy, Americans (even with our differences) have shown that “agreeing to disagree” is almost impossible.

Why are Americans unable to disagree amicably? What makes adult men and women behave like children when someone does not agree with their perspective or ideology?

From the Black Lives Matter movement to the Proud Boys movement, differences of opinions continue to produce violent and aggressive outcomes. Can’t we all just get along? Can we forgive another person for being different? Thinking different? Wanting different?

This is an article about forgiveness. This is a moment to consider our differences versus our similarities. This is an opportunity to forgive and forget; to let go and allow other to be what they are without demanding they change to make us feel better.

Remember, it’s natural for our mind to automatically judge or stereotype others. Additionally, it is a challenge to view differences as “different” instead of “negative.” Just because a person is different or believes differently does not mean they are a bad person.  This negative view of the unknown or unusual may carry over into our daily lives and how receptive we are to new experiences and/or expanding our community. 

Again, this article is about forgiveness. Forgiving others for their differences is not about forgiving others for being different. It’s more about letting go of the concept that everything and/or everyone is the same; and accepting unique behaviors or unusual customs the contribute to a person’s character, personality and belief.

Forgiving others for their differences and becoming open to them, gives us the ability to gain a wealth of knowledge and learn to see eye-to-eye even if we somewhat disagree.

Here are a few tips to consider:

-       Acknowledge the beauty in your uniqueness. We are all unique. We all have different experiences, personalities, and features. A lot of times when people judge others for being different, maybe we believe that everyone should be the same. However, by recognizing the uniqueness in ourselves, we may realize the beauty and uniqueness in others.

-       Consider another’s cultural upbringing. We often model the behavior and environment we were raised in. So, what we learned and were taught as acceptable may conflict with the values of another. In order to avoid becoming offended or offensive, consider the fact that they belief or behavior may be appropriate where they came from.

-       Find the similarities between you and others. Across all cultures and various stages of life we all have one thing in common…we are human. We have emotions, needs, and a desire to form healthy connections and be understood. By finding the similarities, it may be easier to see that even across cultures we are more alike than we are different.

-       Recognize the positive qualities in others. By recognizing the positive qualities in others differences, we open ourselves up to the ability to view life from a new and positive perspective. Instead of looking for the negative, we will find the positive and hopefully, that concept will spill over into other areas of our lives.

-       Reframe your view of “differences.” When people think of differences there is often a negative stigma attached to it. But in order to have a better understanding and forgive others, we must reframe what “differences” symbolizes to us. By doing this we are able let go of the negative attachment and picture differences as more of an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more about others which in turn tells us more about ourselves.

Forgiving others for their differences helps us adjust your expectations for how things should be to a more flexible and open-minded view. Next time you see an unusual custom or behavior, view it as a learning experience and you will begin to open your mind.

Celebrating Women's History Month | DOWNLOAD Your FREE eBOOK

Are You Faithfully Celebrating Women's History Month? Yes! We celebrate all successful women, but not because they are greater than we are.

“I’m old. I have cellulite. I’m 10 lbs overweight. My husband doesn’t look at me the way he used to. I don’t love him the way I did before. What happened to my life?”

I listened to a friend of mine tell me about how she just didn’t feel like waking up to go to work because she hated life. “This is not the life I planned. I’m successful, but I’m not happy. Nothing makes me happy.”

As we celebrate Women’s History Month in March, I thought it would be interesting to look at the contrast between what women want and what we actually get.

For many years, women have been celebrated during the month of March to highlight their extraordinary contributions to their countries. Both here in the U.S. and internationally, women have left a mark in history that deserves celebration, and this year, the theme for Women’s History Month is "Honoring Trailblazing Women in Labor and Business.”

As a businesswoman, I am very much aware of the challenges that threaten success. The greatest struggles that kept me from wanting to get out of bed, like my friend, were financial challenges, uncertainty, lack of confidence, strong competitors, and my inability to find “loyal” staff members. All of the areas were extremely challenging, however, the greatest struggle I had was establishing work/life balance consistently.

Day after Day, I work with women who feel unworthy, devalued, uncelebrated, and insecure. Interestingly enough, if you walked past one of them on the street, you would never know that they’ve thrown in the towel on happiness, contentment, and peace. Why? Because she looks amazing! She drives a luxury car (or something close to it). Her makeup is flawless. Her children are adorable and well dressed. She works hard. People love her. She is successful. She is all that; but, she’s dying inside. I just described the clients that I work with, but I also described me. My passion to help others came from a long, hard look in the mirror. When each of us looks into the mirror we should see one thing: HUMANITY. We are all HUMAN. This means that we all struggle. We all have insecurities. We all want to be loved. We all want to be valued. We all want success.

Are You Faithfully Celebrating This Month?

We Celebrate Successful Women; But, Not Because They’re Greater Than Us.

This month, we celebrate Women’s History in the United States…but many women harbor deep pain and problems.

Beneath the passion, behind all of the great success we find ourselves also motivated by a deep, painful guilt I, myself, know a great deal about. You may even question the importance of celebrating someone's life that doesn't quite model yours. Maybe women's history means nothing to you.

Well, it really doesn’t matter if you’re in the beginning phase of history making or not. False comparisons are made when you’ve no personal success as a point of reference.  

When March comes around, we ironically invite “the comparison trip” into our heads. Guilt floods in when you want the success that you find in another person.

Don’t feel embarrassed by it. This particular battle is a hard one to fight. And maybe it’s not just during the month of March, maybe it every month of the year that you struggle with illegitimate comparisons to your friends, coworkers, societal icons, or your sister.

- There’s Only One Way To Being You

Wherever you are; no matter how you’re going to “get there,” you’re not fulfilled until you arrive at your destination. The truth is, I don’t have a remedy or cure for the guilt you deal with.

I do, however, have a solution to enable you to walk the happy road to being you. The manifestation of who you are means you’ll be celebrated this month. There’s no need to wait.

I’m calling it my “positive step approach.” Instead of working on your guilt trip, I’m going to work on your final destination. This isn’t the place you’re at, at the moment.

Let me take you on the journey to become you! This is the same journey that the women we celebrate this month took to ultimate success. It was never an overnight success, and I won’t make it one for you. The journey ahead is a serious commitment that you have to make to achieve your personal goals.

-----------Once you’re in the rightful place, there will be no one else to compare with.

To do that for you, I’m releasing my book for free this month. At the cost of nothing, it’s put directly into your hands. Your final commitment, to end the guilt, is to read it. I’ve never given something so valuable away for free.

I Will Not Put A Price Tag On What’s Rightfully Yours. I can only do it during this month.

You have an entire celebration to go through. And we’re now walking you past the emptiness, anxiety and void. Embrace the fullness that’s yours.

Do it now. Open your copy, and discover how powerful success becomes when you become you. We’re ready to celebrate Women’s History Month, but this time it’s for you to make YOUR MARK and success this time. I know…you already have it in you!

- J.J.

>> Download Your Free Copy Now <<

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