Racism, Politics & Forgiveness | 5 Tips for Cultural Forgiveness | Dr. Jada - LMHC

Racism, Politics & Forgiveness | 5 Tips for Cultural Forgiveness

The presidential race is heated and brutal. The rich, the wealthy, the poor, the Black, the White, the Brown, the Greedy, the educated and the uneducated are at war on the largest platform in America. Whether the presidential debates are heavily focused on abortion, legalization of same sex marriage, healthcare, minimum wage, immigration, gun control, education or foreign policy, Americans (even with our differences) have shown that “agreeing to disagree” is almost impossible.

Why are Americans unable to disagree amicably? What makes adult men and women behave like children when someone does not agree with their perspective or ideology?

From the Black Lives Matter movement to the Proud Boys movement, differences of opinions continue to produce violent and aggressive outcomes. Can’t we all just get along? Can we forgive another person for being different? Thinking different? Wanting different?

This is an article about forgiveness. This is a moment to consider our differences versus our similarities. This is an opportunity to forgive and forget; to let go and allow other to be what they are without demanding they change to make us feel better.

Remember, it’s natural for our mind to automatically judge or stereotype others. Additionally, it is a challenge to view differences as “different” instead of “negative.” Just because a person is different or believes differently does not mean they are a bad person.  This negative view of the unknown or unusual may carry over into our daily lives and how receptive we are to new experiences and/or expanding our community. 

Again, this article is about forgiveness. Forgiving others for their differences is not about forgiving others for being different. It’s more about letting go of the concept that everything and/or everyone is the same; and accepting unique behaviors or unusual customs the contribute to a person’s character, personality and belief.

Forgiving others for their differences and becoming open to them, gives us the ability to gain a wealth of knowledge and learn to see eye-to-eye even if we somewhat disagree.

Here are a few tips to consider:

-       Acknowledge the beauty in your uniqueness. We are all unique. We all have different experiences, personalities, and features. A lot of times when people judge others for being different, maybe we believe that everyone should be the same. However, by recognizing the uniqueness in ourselves, we may realize the beauty and uniqueness in others.

-       Consider another’s cultural upbringing. We often model the behavior and environment we were raised in. So, what we learned and were taught as acceptable may conflict with the values of another. In order to avoid becoming offended or offensive, consider the fact that they belief or behavior may be appropriate where they came from.

-       Find the similarities between you and others. Across all cultures and various stages of life we all have one thing in common…we are human. We have emotions, needs, and a desire to form healthy connections and be understood. By finding the similarities, it may be easier to see that even across cultures we are more alike than we are different.

-       Recognize the positive qualities in others. By recognizing the positive qualities in others differences, we open ourselves up to the ability to view life from a new and positive perspective. Instead of looking for the negative, we will find the positive and hopefully, that concept will spill over into other areas of our lives.

-       Reframe your view of “differences.” When people think of differences there is often a negative stigma attached to it. But in order to have a better understanding and forgive others, we must reframe what “differences” symbolizes to us. By doing this we are able let go of the negative attachment and picture differences as more of an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more about others which in turn tells us more about ourselves.

Forgiving others for their differences helps us adjust your expectations for how things should be to a more flexible and open-minded view. Next time you see an unusual custom or behavior, view it as a learning experience and you will begin to open your mind.

Discovering Your Life's Purpose | Who are You? | Dr. Jada - LMHC

Discovering Your Life's Purpose

There is a purpose for your life, whether you believe it or not. You may have to take several paths, but with a little digging, you can find where you're meant to be.

When I was 12 years old, my mother drove me to San Francisco to a modeling school close to Union Square. It was the beginning of a long career of runways, photographs, traveling and professional development. Little did I know at the age of 12 that this journey was only a small part of my life’s purpose. It was the beginning of “a process.” I would eventually follow this path to develop a productive career in fashion and work for the world’s largest traveling couture fashion show. However, this was not my life’s purpose. Yes, it was an AMAZING job, but not my life’s purpose. I believe many of us confuse our jobs and careers with our life’s purpose. My career as a runway and spokesmodel was only an opportunity for me to develop the necessary skills, character and wisdom for becoming the influencer, thought leader and counselor that I am today. What is my life’s purpose, you ask? It’s actually very simple; to motivate, encourage and educate others to live in their truth while embracing their life’s purpose.

As I am writing this blog, it’s 5am and I’m sitting in my quiet space reflecting on my life, my purpose and my journey. How did I get here? Did I know my purpose at 12 years old as my mom drove me through the streets of San Francisco? Did my mother know? Did she lead me into my purpose? Am I staying true to my purpose? Better yet, did I truly discover my life’s purpose? Well, you may have some of the same questions and here are a few practical clues to help you find answers.

The first clue to figuring out your purpose in life is to consider what natural talents, gifts and abilities you're born with.

   Are you artistic or musical?

   Is it easy for you to talk to people?

   Are you a natural communicator?

   Do you love to socialize?

   Do you love to decorate and rearrange your home?

   Are you good at taking charge?

   Are you creative and crafty?

   Do you understand electronics and technical gadgets?

   Do you understand computer technology?

   Do people compliment you on your style?

   Are you a good writer?

   Do you have good organizational skills?

Once you figure out what talents naturally live within you, you can then understand what you're supposed to be doing with those gifts and talents. This is your purpose in life.

What Do You Love to Do?

Have you ever sat down and really reflected on what you love to do?

There are literally millions of possibilities, so start with the gifts and talents that you were born with. From there, figure out what you love to do that requires using those gifts and talents.

   If you're artistic or musical, teaching others how to draw, paint or play an instrument may be your purpose in life.


   Being naturally social, you might consider being an organizer for social events. 


   If you're always redecorating and rearranging your home, why not get paid to do it and start an interior decorating business?


   Being a natural born leader opens all kinds of doors that could lead you in many different directions. Does your church or other local community groups need someone to head up a department? You may find your purpose there.


   If you're good at making crafty things, helping at a preschool or elementary school may be fulfilling for you. Using your creative ability could open the door to a career in graphic arts as well.


   If you're technically minded, perhaps you might consider using your understanding of electronics to fix equipment or you might enjoy working in an electronics store.


   If you have a strong knowledge of computers, you're certain to find a career online or with a high-tech company or you might even consider starting your own business.


   If you're naturally stylish and love to keep up with what's new in the fashion world, perhaps designing your own line of clothing or accessories is your purpose. Or maybe you'd enjoy helping others discover what style works best for them by working in a clothing store. Another option may be to offer your services as a fashion consultant to those who are unemployed, so they can learn how to dress professionally for job interviews.


   The love of writing may be something you don't even realize yet. With blogging becoming the most popular way to market a business, getting paid to write is a great way to make money from home. Many people have started a simple blog that has turned into a money-making machine. Start by writing on topics you already have knowledge about and go from there. You might be surprised at how much money you can make with your love of writing.


   Using your organizational skills, you might be fond of going into homes and getting them ready for sale or helping elderly persons organize their homes. You could also offer your services online as an organizational consultant or teach those who aren't naturally organized.


Finding your purpose in life simply takes self-reflection as well as some trial and error. Free yourself from wandering through life without purpose. We're all here for a reason and, once your find your purpose and begin living it, you'll feel happy and fulfilled!